Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box - The Arbinger Institute
Understanding Self Betrayal:
Self betrayal is treating individuals differently than how I think they should be treated.
After self betrayal our thought process changes so that our inner dialogue and perspective on the world justify our self betrayal. This happens by magnifying other people’s mistakes and shortcomings. These changes to our thought process distort our reality.
Being blind to the above described phenomena causes “in the box” thinking which hinders the ability to empathize.
The Dangers of a Self Justifying Value System:
Over time continuously justifying self betrayal leads to undesirable personality characteristics that result from a diminishing value system. The remaining characteristics allow us to operate from a “self justifying value system”
If the people we interact with challenge our self justifying value system we see them as threats. If they reinforce our self justifying value system we see them as allies. If the people we interact with are talking about concepts that are irrelevant to our self justifying value system they are labeled as unimportant. This view of the world makes leaders treat people as objects as opposed to individuals.
When we think with “in the box” thinking we look for issues in other people so we can justify and confirm our own pre-existing beliefs. Sometimes we gossip about our peers to further justify our own “in the box” thinking.
It is tempting to label other people as “in the box” thinkers. This ironic phenomena is a big mistake because it stops leaders from developing the introspection they need to be effective.
Personal Testimony:
While I typically preserve Sharknotes solely for golden nuggets I have to share that this book is the most important personal/professional development book I have ever read. It provided me the introspection I needed to address some of my biggest personal weaknesses.
Since I read this book I have been catching my own “in the box” thinking and having been adjusting my behavior accordingly. Doing so has helped me become a more friendly and approachable individual.